![]() ![]() How many times do we take things into our own hands and try to play the part of the Holy Spirit?īecause putting pressure on someone to be convicted is a wasted effort. It’s the desired outcome, but it can only truly take place when four things have happened: When people go through the reconciliation process right, the relationship has the potential to be even stronger than it was before.Ĭonversely, when the reconciliation process is circumvented by well-meaning but “patch-it-up-quick” folks, the hurt party can become resentful over time, and the relationship isn’t healed it’s more deeply damaged. Reconciliation is when you take a damaged relationship and heal it. So if forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation, then what is reconciliation, and when do we do it? As long as I was doing my Christian duty, they could do whatever they wanted to.Īnd all of this was supposed to eventually cause a metamorphosis in the other person and give God glory. Just walk all over me with your crap-caked boots. Dude, it’s all good.”Īnd then they’d do something else nasty, and I’d forgive them. Like, they could do something nasty toward me, and I’d forgive them. This issue was always confusing to me because I thought forgiveness was letting the other person off the hook. I forgive because God wants to set ME free! I forgive, not to set the other person free – only God can save people. When someone hurts me, I go t o God and work out the forgiveness part. We can forgive those who sin against us, but forgiveness is something that takes place between the one who has been hurt and God.ĭid you catch that? Because I had to pause for a minute and wrap my brain around it. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. And it’s this: Forgiveness doesn’t = reconciliation. Patrick begins by pointing out something that was been a game-changer for me. Not just small parts.Įspecially not the small parts that people sometimes use as weapons to control and subdue others. And depending on what’s going on, we will need to respond in wisdom using all of the Word of God as our guide. The only trouble is the Bible says a lot of other things about relationships too. Even if they aren’t sorry or continue to hurt you, your job is to overlook a multitude of sins, turn the other cheek, and never keep a record of wrongs. When someone does something that is hurtful to you, you need to forgive and be good buddies anyway. ![]() Here’s the conventional Christian way of thinking: This is a subject a lot of Christians are confused about. There was one that was particularly helpful in explaining the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation called How Reconciliation Works (again, no longer available.) Back when I was getting out of my own abusive marriage, I binge-watched Patrick Doyle on the Dove YouTube channel (no longer available). ![]()
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